日記


February 2nd, 2023


i dreamt i was in my grandparents backyard.



8 locusts bit me, one after the other.



the 9th didnt. but i remember feeling a sense of great urgency to kill it before it bit me.



though i hadnt managed to kill any of the others.



i woke up before it bit me.





November 17th, 2023


i've been having flashes of daily life



in my dreams again.



i think i prefer the strange, existential ones.





December 31, 2023


[REDACTED] and I had moved into a new house

I found evidence of him cheating in a secret room he had in the house I had no idea about



he didn't care and no one else cared

the new woman and her family moved in while I was there





had to separate the cats like you would children of divorce





couldnt gather my things; confusion and fear were main emotions

the new house slowly morphed into a mansion, then an abandoned forest



couldn't get my items together/kept losing them/they were being stolen by the new "family"





woke up when I finally told him I didn't care anymore

January 1st, 2024


was at an Amish place? farm? it was for sure late at night



was with [REDACTED], grandpa, and strangers who I thought were family



went to a food stand in Grandpa's van at 1am

loaded the car up with food and they all forgot me



i had to steal a wagon and pony.

a dog was on the back of the wagon, and there were 2 sheep with the pony

the pony tried multiple times to bite me as I got the reigns on



my phone wouldn't work, like there was a virus on and and it also wasn't my phone bc it was so unfamiliar



ended up at vet office. all the people working there were old women.

I begged them to use their phone to call [REDACTED] and when they finally let me

(I gave them the wrong number, even though I knew the right one),

the power went out





somehow ended up at [REDACTED]'s friend's wife's apartment; it was a highrise penthouse.





told her what happened and asked to use her phone,

same thing happened with the other cell,



it wouldn't let me make calls/had viruses to prevent me from using it.

then tried again on ""my"" phone,

it fell apart and turned into one of those bootleg, drop-shipper handheld video game consoles.



begged the woman to help me text him but she had his number before I could tell her it



finally got in contact with [REDACTED],

he said he was coming





but never did

January 2nd, 2024


Thanksgiving at my grandmother's house

kids and people from my work were there



a kid had to use the restroom & no one could cover for me/were ignoring me

so I took her to one of the guest bathrooms



she carved herself up with a razor had horrible words in her arm; "self-critical" "fat" "whore"





so many cuts


so much blood





everyone was more focused on making sure I was in trouble than helping her



my grandmother was dead



everyone was eating food and not helping me help the girl





March 10th, 2024


Dreamt of what seemed to be a past life.





I was a Seeress





I lived in a small tribe near Germany.



and I practed Seiðr





I was so happy...

March 15th, 2024


Dreamt I was hacked by someone.



they got access to my camera, bank, everything.

they took $1,500 and would watch me.



no one would help me.





there were kids going through my dad's truck

(they seemed liked they could be in the movie, the Florida Project)



their guardian wouldn't do anything.





hacked into [REDACTED]'s computer as well.





woke up before it was solved